


Spaced Out Orbit

by orphan_account



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-25 20:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10771608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jughead went to a bookshop. A UFO appeared.





	1. Chapter 1

Taffy on Snow Books had an effect on those inclined to melancholy, and, as he put _Holy Feast and Holy Fast: The Religious Significance of Food to Medieval Women_ back on its shelf, Jughead let himself wallow in the surrounding history. For Taffy on Snow had begun its existence as a sugar-oriented bookshop, with an entire floor dedicated to the Blossom family's writings (an offering of racist travelogues, war memoirs of questionable veracity, that picture book by the entity briefly mentioned as "oh, so much more horrifying than Gorey, honestly, I cried and prayed and cried and prayed and the nightmares refuse to leave still" in the early 1970s and now known as Nana Rose). Not long had passed before its catalogue was expanded—so they had the witchcraft books of Eric Maple, and the Italian edition of _Candy Candy_ , and (as time went on) _Fellini on Fellini_ ( _La Dolce Vita_ ), _We Have Always Lived in the Castle_ (the sugar bowl), a selection of romances (they were very sweet), and then it was clear that the dream was over, and now Jughead was here, quietly observing as an employee threw a coverless copy of the _Muppets from Space_ novelization at the manager's head. After checking the tribute to original intentions that was the sugar section, and confirming that it was still limited to a volume on the Great Boston Molasses Flood, _Miracles on Maple Hill_ , and an issue of _Cake Decorating and Icing_ , he felt satisfied with the pathos of it all and left, feeling disillusioned with Riverdale, fond of Riverdale, and in love (he'd bought a bunch of _Nancy Drew Files_ for Betty). It was a fine morning.

 

* * *

  
"It's funny," said Archie.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah."

Kevin was showing Veronica something on his phone.

"I haven’t told you guys yet," said Archie.

"Correct, Archiekins. I adore your—ideals."

"What. Anyway, it's funny. My dentist sent me a birthday card, but it’s not my birthday at all."

Betty, writing in a planner, nodded.

"And it was a personalized message. Really personalized. It was kind of great, you know? My dentist's pretty cool."  
  
At that point something crossed the sky while making a lot of noise. Pop abandoned his place behind the counter and came to stand by a window. There were some strong emotions. Screaming. Running. Moose, sitting with friends across the diner, stood up and took his plate of pancakes to the bathroom, which Archie found frankly excessive. Then the object disappeared and Archie was relieved.

 _That was close!_ he texted Fred.

And then:

 _You saw it, right??_  
  
And:

 _love you, dad_  
  
A little boy was crying. Archie asked what his name was and then composed a song right that minute. It went, _it's okay, Brayden, it's okay, Brayden, it's okay_. No one really applauded or anything, but it was nice anyway.

 

* * *

  
Greendale had a wounded couple as proof of its latest werewolf sighting. Riverdale had a hundred blurry videos that maybe showed a line on the horizon for two seconds.

"Isn't this like the dumbest found footage movie ever?" said the Greendale mayor to the _Blue and Gold_. 'I imagine you're aware that that every citizen here can get a free professional camera once they turn sixteen? We value the documentation of our folklore."

Such declarations didn't please Mayor McCoy, whose initial reaction to the whole UFO thing was that Josie could have a little thematic concert. Some cardboard planets, futuristic suits, the Pussycats in outer space... But now Sierra McCoy was talking about scientists, the honor of having her town so pointedly chosen that not even the poor dears right across Sweetwater had been able to witness the shocking event, the manufactaring of their very own Golden Record, etc. It was all very exciting from a journalistic point of view, and yet—

 _There's something wrong_ , Betty thought, suddenly stopping her furious typing.  
  
Huh. Where had that come from?  
  
Well, she'd been staying up late for a week now. That probably accounted for any unsettling sensations.

She reread what she'd written so far—a profile of the director of the newly founded Riverdale Citizens Against Extraterrestrial Dishonesty—and fixed typos in a finished piece—an article on the Riverdale Committee on Aerial Phenomena, which, having been active since the '50s (they’d had a booth at the Giant Rock Spaceship Convention), had mostly become a knitting club at some point before the turn of the century. Then she turned off the laptop and went to sleep with her kitty plushie.

 

* * *

  
People often forgot Polly was supposed to be in school.

She had a place of her own now. It had formerly been known as the Blossom bachelor pad.

"Jay-Jay would've probably lived here for a while," Cheryl told her the first time they’d entered the apartment together. "Painful as it is, being away from home is a very important step to realize how truly meaningful that home is."

"But you can see Thornhill from here."

"Oh, Polly, you terrible, darling girl. You wouldn't have wanted those young men to die from sadness, would you? Well, maybe you would! That charming casual cruelty! Never refrain from it. So, you like it?"

She did. There were not that many awful paintings to hide. And there was a lot of light. And that sunken living room—"a conversation pit, see, for our intellectual endeavors" as Cheryl put it—was alluring. All in all, extremely photogenic, and that had been an important factor in Polly’s considerations, for she had plans now that Jason's death had been solved. She really needed to go back to normal society, and she had done so very enchantingly since the move: her lifestyle blog was a hit, with its cute babies, young mother, murdered lover, murdered lover's rich family, and a really neat kitchen.  
  
Dulcibella and Chason were sleeping. Polly was on the couch, analyzing YouTube statistics. Cheryl was working on a scrapbook.  
  
"They grow up so fast," said Cheryl with a sigh. "I’m afraid we have to part now, Polly dearest! I’m reading to Nana."

"Oh, right. Is she enjoying, uh, _The Romance of Lust_?"

"Thoroughly and thoroughly. I'm a very accomplished narrator."  
  
"I'd never doubt that."

They looked at each other for some time, Cheryl with a trail of silver glitter glue on her cheek, Polly in a blue peignoir given to her by her sister-in-law.

"Well. Adieu, then," said Cheryl at last, putting some of her paper craft supplies in a heart-shaped purse, and leaving behind what didn't fit.

 

* * *

  
Betty didn't feel well even as she returned to a healthy sleep schedule.

"There are gonna be other scandals, B," said Veronica one day when they were the only ones in the student lounge.

"What?"

"I mean, there's also always the possibility of the aliens coming back, bringing new, juicy, Pulitzer-worthy developments with them. So, don't be sad, okay?" She reached for Betty's hand.

"Hm, okay. Thanks."  
  
  
  
Later, as Betty did homework in the window seat in her bedroom, she thought of...

Something.  
  
"Oh my God."

Her mother asked where she was going but she wasn't sure. So there, standing in front of her house, quickly: _Pop's. Too exposed. Archie's garage_.

He was there with his guitar.

"Betty!"

"Archie. Urgent meeting. I've texted everybody. Snacks?"

"Wait, what is happening?"

"You mind me checking the kitchen? I'll be right back."

  
  
So everyone could have a refreshment while they heard the news that Jughead had disappeared last month and that they had completely forgotten about him until now. Betty thought she'd have to make an effort to convince them of his existence, but they seemed to take the information with considerable ease.

"Jughead!" said Archie.

"I can’t believe I forgot him," said Kevin. "He likes Tarantino. A lot."  
  
"Yeah. FP's son," said Joaquin.  
  
"The hat!" said Veronica.  
  
"He stinks," said Cheryl.  
  
"He does not," said Betty. "But that's in character for you, Cheryl. So. Let's think. What happened?"  
  
"A spell?" That was Polly.  
  
"But why? My theory is—I mean, I just thought of it, but anyway—it's obviously the UFO, right?"  
  
There was a collective ooooooohhh.  
  
"The _aliens_ took him?" said Archie.  
  
"The aliens took _him_?" said Cheryl.  
  
Betty looked really upset by that point.  
  
"I’m sure he's fine, Betty," said Polly.  
  
"Totally! Seriously, B, he's so smart."  
  
(Was he? Veronica wondered. She couldn't say she'd ever seen a particularly brilliant moment of his. But he was sad. And liked to write. So.)  
  
"His interpersonal skills are pitiful, but we're not talking about beings from this planet, so who knows? Maybe they find him adorable."  
  
"Thanks, Cheryl."  
  
There was heavy silence for a minute. Archie interrupted it.  
  
"Wait. Reggie. You remember Reggie?"  
  
There was a variety of "uh, yeah?" around the room. Joaquin was puzzled, so Kevin informed him on the essentials (hot, terrible).  
  
"Oh," said Archie. "Because I just realized... he kinda disappeared too, right?"  
  
"Oh, no, he went on a student exchange. Remember? To Brazil?"  
  
"Right!"  
  
"Actually, I'd forgotten about that, too,” said Veronica. "Not in a memory erasure way, though. I think."  
  
"He sends Jughead postcards sometimes," said Betty.  
  
"Really? That doesn't sound right," said Kevin, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"It’s kinda weird. I've read some. Basically he calls Jughead Magica de Spell and asks if he's killed people lately."  
  
"So... they're friends? God, I forgot a lot."  
  
"I don't think so, no.” She paused. “But the postcards are beautiful."  
  
  
  
Cheryl was confused as rescue plans started being tentatively discussed, as she'd assumed they were, at most, to arrange a funeral service and then follow with their Jughead-free lives. Talks of leadership awakened a desire to help, though, since she knew she excelled at being authoritarian. No one seemed to be much convinced by that. It was hard not to be livid, but she coldly pointed out her Vixen accomplishments, and at that Veronica made a _face_ , and Cheryl really got angry, and Betty said that none of that was the point _at all_ , but Cheryl went on and said that she'd been the moderator of a highly active closed Facebook group for the sugar daddy community for some time, which was a pretty weird reveal as Cheryl reveals go, and she clarified that she’d been looking for the maple sugaring community on Sleuthster back then—her parents thought she was useless for the family's legacy, but they were _wrong_ —and ended up at somewhere different. Anyway. She was very good at it.  
  
"I use a fake profile. Don't worry," she said as she turned to Polly, who tilted her head.

Then it was late.  
  
  
  
Betty, 1am in the group chat:

_Thanks, everyone! Let’s recharge our energies!! Long way ahead!!!! Good night._

Betty, 4am in the group chat:  
  
_So I'm at school rn and I opened Jughead's locker and there's nothing :(_

After some further investigation (no files on Jughead Jones III), she came home in a most discreet manner, went through her photos on all social networks (no crown hats), closed her eyes for thirty minutes, and was now going back to school with Archie.  
  
"By the way, have you seen Jughead's dad lately?"

"Yeah, I have. I thought about it after you guys went. He looked pretty down a couple days ago, Betty. Dad told me he'd never seen him like that."

"Oh, no. He's missing the son he doesn’t remember he has! Should we tell him?"

"I don't know. Maybe not. Wouldn't that make him sadder?"

"Probably."

She fell asleep in the bathroom later.

 

* * *

  
"Should we really try to find him, though?"

"Cheryl."  
  
"All I’m saying is that you don't know him very well! We're talking about someone very miserable here. I looked at him—when I couldn't avoid it, naturally—and thought, my God, he's gonna start coughing blood any time now. You don't want blood in your sister's mouth, do you, Pollykins? I know Jason wouldn't want it in mine. Do you actually think Jughead has a handkerchief?"


	2. Chapter 2

Adam listened to the entirety of Avril Lavigne's discography and drank seventeen strawberry milkshakes.  
  
He was puking behind a car when he saw three of them arriving at Pop's.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
They stopped. Elizabeth—he'd done his research—was already holding the door open. An absence of smiles.  
  
"Hello, hello! Let's talk about Jughead!"

* * *

  
Archie's garage again. Veronica thought she might as well try to make the place a little more atmospheric, if that were to become their version of a treehouse. Maybe Cheryl could contribute with a heirloom. She was about to inquire on the general opinion on interior design when she was reminded of the presence of a white-haired dude in a pink windbreaker.  
  
"So, Adam, right?"  
  
"That's it exactly, Eliza."  
  
"Right. So, you know Jughead?"  
  
"I've heard of him."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh, yes! Rude behavior!"  
  
"What? What did he do?"  
  
"Not his, Betsy! I was talking about the ones who took him, of course. Even though it's understandable, when you think about it."  
  
"Well, let us think about it," said Veronica.  
  
"Yeah," said Archie.  
  
Adam seemed very pleased with that.

  
  
Adam wanted to find his roots. That was not really connected to the main narrative, but he mentioned it often, and everyone in the room—including the late arrivals Cheryl and Polly and Kevin—ended up passionately agreeing with that notion. He really deserved finding his roots. Despite all hopes during his first visit to Earth, he'd had to admit that he wasn't gonna find them on this planet. He still enjoyed coming around, though. He also liked helping people, which was why he was here after hearing some rumors.  
  
He'd been raised on Homeless Haven, and that was when things got _interesting_. Because, you see, that was the name of an asteroid where orphans, drifters, and the dregs of the universe mingled. At that, Cheryl squealead with delight, threw her arms up, and declared that she knew it, she knew it, she knew all along that Jughead was a dreg of the universe, and could she go back to cheerful Dulcibella and lovely Chason now? Archie replied that Jughead wasn't an alien. Adam said that, oh, no, he definitely was, and everyone got very quiet.  
  
He didn't want to bore them with tangled politics, so let it just be said that the House of Sorumbático had been tyrannical for a long period before they started being murdered. It wasn't nice, really, but, oh, well! So there was a baby—not the queen's. Someone very, very down in the line of succession. Possibly no one would've cared about him, really, but you couldn't blame the parents for sending the kid to Homeless Haven, with instructions for him to be sent to yet another location from there. It was all very complex, but in the end the revolution came to a satisfying conclusion, his parents died in a spaceship crash, and the baby was mostly forgotten until now, when a group of royalists had uncovered some record or another and decided that, yes, Jughead was to be found and to be king. The government had interfered and got to him first. Impolite and all that, but, hey, the reason was clear, and at least Jughead now knew what his roots were. Some never do.

  
  
"It was very nice of you to tell us all that," said Polly.  
  
"Glad to be of assistance! I would've come earlier but I had no idea. I was doing the Mayall's Object circuit! Gotta say that the abduction procedure sounds shoddy, though. No one on Earth's ever seen my spaceship! Well, my friend's spaceship. I can't afford one. Anyway, he's rad.”  
  
"I’m sure he is, and I'm very grateful to him, too. Adam, I think our friends have questions—would you be okay with a Q &A?"  
  
"Absolutely!"  
  
"One person at a time, then. Oh, let me record this."

 

 

> ARCHIE: Is Jughead dead?  
>    
>  ADAM THE ALIEN: Let's hope not, my guy! Haha!  
>    
>  VERONICA: So what's the deal with his parents? His Earth parents.  
>    
>  ADAM THE ALIEN: Memory implants!  
>    
>  CHERYL: Is _that_ what the hat is about? A clue? Because I'm gonna punch you if it is.  
>    
>  ADAM THE ALIEN: I have no idea what you're talking about, but please punch me if it will make you feel better!  
>    
>  KEVIN: Do you have superpowers? You don’t have to answer if that's offensive.  
>    
>  ADAM THE ALIEN: Not offensive!  
>    
>  [Laser sounds]  
>    
>  KEVIN: Nice!  
>    
>  POLLY: Betty?  
>    
>  BETTY: Where is Jughead? And can you take me there?

 

* * *

  
One wondered.  
  
Archie knew it was mean—even if he was just talking to himself—and yet, one wondered.  
  
Like, Jughead had written the most awful story when they were kids. It was about sad rats that ended up as dead rats. It was really depressing. And he'd made Archie read it. And then he read it aloud. Naturally, Archie had purposefully avoided anything created by Jughead since then, and sometimes he felt bad, of course—Jughead wasn't really subtle about wanting to share his work with his best friend—but it was a necessity.  
  
Maybe Archie didn't have to feel bad anymore at all? He was just _human_. He wasn't prepared for space art. It was _okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to [hotdogwithagun](https://hotdogwithagun.tumblr.com/tagged/adam-the-alien) and their efforts on spreading the gospel of Adam the Alien.


	3. Chapter 3

Cheryl's gown and headdress were exactly like Hedy Lamarr's in the "You Stepped Out of a Dream" number from _Ziegfeld Girl_ , except that the gown was black and the stars were red.

"We don't know the next time something like this will happen in our lives, Polly. We'll go to space with pizzazz."

That meant that Cheryl really wanted her to wear a giant sun crown with a golden veil, but Polly was of the opinion that practical clothing was best when you were trying to get someone out of prison.

"Do it as you please, I suppose."

Polly wore the crown. She removed the the veil, though. There were no complaints.

 

* * *

 

Alice was to take care of Dulcibella and Chason while Polly and the horrid Blossom girl went to a costume party in NYC. She was proud of her daughter's achievements as a seventeen-year-old lifestyle guru. Secretly, she found her grandchildren mildly disconcerting (something about the eyes), but she was sure she could handle them for one weekend.

Betty was sleeping at Veronica's.

 

* * *

 

Back when the drive-in was Jughead's job and shelter, FP had appeared late at night on his bike. He was drunk, so that was pretty bad. Jughead let him crash in the projection booth, and all that time his father was talking, talking, something about Jughead making a list of books. Good books. For the common people. The Whyte Wyrm had a unused room and FP was thinking, thinking, something about a library. For the community. And Jughead would run the book club. That would look good on his college applications, FP thought. Extracurricular activities. Except that he’d kept saying perpendicular activities and getting angry at himself and then crying a little.

Anyway, that was to say that after long weeks with only _Never Say Die_ , _Most Likely to Die_ , _Dance Till You Die_ , and _Win, Place or Die_ as entertainment, Jughead felt reasonably sure that he wouldn't include _The Nancy Drew Files_ on the nonexistent list of his nonexistent club.

The day he hid behind Betty as Cheryl's grandmother emerged from the shadows was the day he started dreaming of her rescuing him. From castles on fire. Juvenile delinquent centers. Closets under the stairs.

It was cold.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Betty's list existed.

Not very successfully, however.

It was called Reasons Why You Should Release Jughead, Who Loves Democracy And Has Never Shown Any Monarchist Tendencies.

  1. _He holds unfavorable views towards the Blossom empire, and that's the closest we have to a royal family. [Brief explanation about the Blossoms. REMINDER: don't be too hard on them. Think of Polly.]_
  2. _He's an intellectual! The kind of person who's PERSECUTED by despots._
  3. _He's an agnostic! DO YOU REALLY THINK HE BELIEVES IN THE DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS?_



"Betty? Is everyone ready?"

She looked up from the note pad. It seemed like everyone had arrived at the clearing in Eversgreen Forest while she'd been sitting on a rock, biting her lower lip.

They were:

Archie. He was carrying his football helmet. "You never know," he said.

Veronica. She was walking in circles, _Flying Saucers Uncensored_ in one hand, half-eaten apple in the other.

Kevin. He was excited.

Joaquin. While he hadn't been there for Adam's story (busy babysitting), he didn’t have objections to the plan. He was wearing sunglasses. Right then, something about his demeanor soothed Betty's heart just a little bit, and she was grateful.

Cheryl. Honestly, Betty didn't feel like dwelling on this matter.

Polly. Betty hoped that crown wouldn't count as a point against them. She also hoped her nephew and niece wouldn't lose their mother. God, Cheryl was a terrifying influence.

Adam. Adam.

She checked the contents of her backpack—bottled water, empty bottle, flashlight, first aid kit, a change of clothes, binoculars, protein bars, a whistle, a climbing harness, and a “Someone Who Loves Me Very Much Went to Riverdale and Got Me This!” t-shirt as a diplomatic gift.

"Yes, I think we are, Adam," said Betty.

Blue light soon surrounded them.

 

* * *

 

Adam's friend was called Throg. Mostly, he was a ball of hair.

They took a look at his catalogue for silverware—Throg was a salesman—and were adequately impressed. He then presented every one of them with a fancy piece of cutlery, which was extremely kind but also (Betty thought, looking at Archie trying to do some juggling with his carving knife) somewhat worrying.

Betty decided to spend the rest of the journey in the ship’s laundry room, working on her list.

 

Cheryl expressed admiration for Throg's daring combination of a yellow suit with a purple cape, and he gladly took her on a tour of his closet.

"These green ones! How marvelous!"

"Take them."

"Oh my, I couldn't! I will, though. Thank you."

So they wouldn't forget the gift amidst any following turmoil, he offered to teletransport the item directly to her abode right away. Cheryl recited her address with much glee, and as the gloves disappeared she felt ready to declare this outing a triumph.

"You do remember Jughead, right?" asked Veronica.

"Are we really gonna pretend we’re all here so we can encourage Betty's xenophilia kink (no offense, Addie, Throggie)? Cute. Anyone up for a round of Secrets and Sins?"

 

* * *

 

Despite the best intentions, the long green gloves materialized in Greendale. Specifically, at the Northside Narwhals's bar, the Ceroolyan Unicorn, where they were taken as a threat from the Serpents.

 

* * *

 

Not being in the mood to participate in a non-game, Veronica walked through the ship, appreciating colorful buttons and inspired apparatus. She found Betty, and perused her notes.

"It's bad. It's bad, I know."

"No, no! _He donated ten dollars to the Film Noir Foundation_! Intriguing!"

"I wanted to show that he's aware of the corruption of those in power. Like noir is?"

"Isn't this supposed to be read to someone in power, though?"

"Well, I mean the bad kind of power. You know. Oh my God. This is horrible. Oh my God."

"It's gonna be okay, B."

"You know what, forget the list. I don't care! I'll punch everyone! No gifts! Throg deserves the t-shirt much more, anyway! I'll carry Jughead in my arms!!!!!!! Oh my God, I should've brought the wig."

 

* * *

 

"I'll go next. Polly is in love with me."

"What! Cheryl! I'm not!"

"Yes, yes, you are. And I know how conflicting that must be for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"But I'll be gentle."

"Stop!"

"Let's vote. Who thinks Polly and I should get married?"

"That’s not how it works!"

"Archie?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know, Cheryl."

"I'll take that as a yes. I’m sorry to say that absolutely doesn't mean you’ll sing at the ceremony, so don't get your hopes up. Now, Kev—"

Throg announced they had arrived.

 

 

They didn't need space suits, so that was nice for all the fashion-oriented among them.

"You wait here a minute! I'll talk to my contact," said Adam, and was gone.

The moorland reminded Veronica of a really excited stage designer working on a Brontës musical. And then there was the very Brutalist building at a distance. They didn’t see anyone around.

"Hey," said Joaquin. "I should've asked this sooner, I guess. Where are we?"

"It’s called Homeless Endangerment IV," said Betty.

"So. Not Jughead's planet?"

"Oh, no, the government doesn't really want him there."

"Makes sense. So, what is the name of Jughead’s planet?"

Everybody looked at Betty and then at each other.

"We didn't ask."

"I see."

Adam came back.

"Good news! He’s alive! Bad news, I don't think they're ultra into the idea of letting him go!"

"Is he okay?" Archie asked.

"He cries a lot. Looks like it's kind of bringing everyone down! You might want to use that as an argument for release."

"Well, in case that fails, here's this,” said Cheryl, lifting her dress, and revealing an anklet. "I hate amethysts."

"Wait," said Polly. "You really brought this with bribery in mind?"

"Yes? Is that a crime now?"

"No, I mean—well, it is, actually. But I mean that you've thought about Jughead. You care. Oh, Cheryl. You're wonderful."

Cheryl couldn't argue since Polly kissed her then.

Adam applauded. Kevin held Joaquin's hand. Archie looked at Veronica, who mouthed "we're not kissing." Betty was confused, but she helped when her sister's sun crown and Cheryl's constellation halo got entangled.

 

 

"... and in conclusion, I firmly believe that Jughead Jones isn't a threat to any planet's democratic system. Also, this whole thing is completely illegal. And here's a t-shirt."

The three-headed creature behind the desk was silent.

"Is this working?" Betty pointed to the translation device Adam had handed her.

"Completely! I think you left him speechless!"

"I get that," said Kevin. "The Death Cab for Cutie quote was really touching, Betty. _Love is watching someone die, so who's gonna watch you die_? Suicide-inducing."

"Thanks. It's Jughead’s favorite."

"I didn’t really _get_ the connection," said Archie.

"Things got a bit postmodern after reason 48," said Veronica.

Cheryl sighed and put the anklet on the desk.

That caused a reaction.

 

 

Jughead was sleeping.

Betty sat down and put his head on her lap. He wasn't wearing his hat.

"Jug?"

"Hmmm."

"It’s Betty."

"Okay, Betty." He smiled, eyes still closed.

"I’m sorry for taking so long. I missed you a lot. Even when I didn’t remember you. I’m sorry for forgetting."

"No problem."

"I love you." She paused. "I would kill for you. I realized that. That's not very nice, I guess."

"You killed someone?"

"I meant hypothetically."

She ran her fingers through his hair. He really needed to take a shower ASAP, but Betty didn’t mind.

They stayed like that for a while. She took off her jacket and covered him with it, then reached for one of the Nancy Drew books. She was on the third chapter when Cheryl put her head around the door and told Betty to stop having sex in cells.

 

 

“I don’t wanna be pessimistic," said Archie on the way home. “But we didn't solve anything, did we?"

"We got Jughead, right? Betty is happy. That guard is happy. He said the anklet was the best thing he's ever eaten."

"Yeah, but—the politics part? There’s still a conflict going on? They still want Jughead?"

"Oh, I’m sure the situation isn't that bad."

"If you say so, Ronnie."

 

* * *

 

They said goodbye to Adam (time to look for his roots) and Trough, and surreptitiously returned to a town that was slightly different than the one they'd left.

The Northside Narwhals had tried to destroy the Whyte Wyrm. That was considerably news-worthy, and Alice had been there, pushing the double stroller, taking pictures of the fire, interviewing the most eloquent gang members. It happened that a Narwhal then tried to stab her, which was really not nice behavior at all, and then the knife flew away and the fire was extinguished and all Narwhals fainted and Dulcibella and Chason were levitating and their eyes were shining.

Alice Cooper's beastly grandchildren made a bloody FP realize something.

"I have a son! I love him!"  
  
That had been two seconds before Jughead (carried by Archie and Betty) inhaled the air of Eversgreen Forest and the memory erasure was generally reverted.

 

* * *

 

Recovering full consciousness brought many embarrassments to Jughead.

Everyone had been so nice trying to save him. Even Cheryl. He didn't know what to say.

"It’s overwhelming, I get it," said Betty while they were lying in the bed in Polly’s guest room. He'd showered by then. "And the royalty thing, too."

"Royalty thing?"

So, that also had been awkward—not knowing why he'd been abducted by aliens. Betty was very patient with her explanation, and she held him when he cried about being an alien and his biological parents being dead and all that stuff.

Then they watched TV for the rest of the afternoon and kissed very often.

 

* * *

 

For a sweet price, Alice let Mayor McCoy have the footage of something truly out of this world happening in Riverdale. She had cut the part with the babies clearly being freaks before doing that, though. She was a good grandmother.

(Anyone else who'd been there and seen the flying babies most definitely wouldn't be a source that a general audience would trust, and for those prejudices against gangs Alice was deeply grateful.)  
  
Greendale was naturally outraged at Riverdale trying to steal their niche, _again_ , but that time with superior proof. Their mayor alluded to the idea of throwing boxes full of Blossom Maple Farms products into the river and starting their own maple syrup business.

 

* * *

 

Cheryl was disappointed when Polly said she wanted them to date for a while before thinking of getting married.

 

* * *

 

Archie accidentally stabbed his foot with his alien knife.

 

* * *

 

For a week or so, FP wasn't sure why Jughead's existence seemed to amaze him so much. His son existed! Wasn't that incredible? He was a great son.

 

 


End file.
